Self Care (Unforced Rhythms of Grace)

Sorry for another huge hiatus!
A lot has happened and changed in my world since I last blogged.
Man V Horse went well- and that's all I'm really willing to say about the past 6 months on a forum as  public as this: those of you who know me in real life may know more, those who don't, don't need to worry about it!

Anyway, in honour of Talk for Change day today, I thought it was time to come out of my self-imposed blogging pause and talk about something I've been learning a LOT about in the past 6 months: self care.

Now, ironically, this has formed a big part of my work in the past 18 months, I work with my trainees a lot around managing their own well being for resilience, handling stress effectively and achieving a strong work life balance.

However,  I've never been good at practicing what I preach, and lived most of the past 10 years or so at approx 110 miles an hour, flooring it from when I woke up in the morning (often around 5.45) until I fell back into bed around 11,often working at 2 jobs in the course of a day.

Circumstances last autumn caused me to stop, reassess my life, and make some radical changes in how I viewed and looked after  myself.

Matthew 11:28-30 MSG

I realised that I needed to take the 'real rest' described  in Matthew 11. I was great at showing grace  to others, but absolutely terrible at showing it to myself. I was my own task master, critic and worst enemy- and I needed to learn to live 'freely and lightly' as Jesus describes here. I ended up in therapy with a great therapist, and her refrain for the first few months was 'Sarah, you need to be your own best friend!'

Well,  I was clueless about how to do that- so in the hope that it helps someone else- here's how I've gone about re-organising and restructuring my life to ensure  that I am living these 'unforced rhythms of grace' and loving myself as well as I aim to love others!
In my head, I've split what I do into caring for myself Mind, Body and Spirit. Obviously some of my activities help with more than one but hey, we've got to start somewhere and a badly organised blog is better than no blog at all!

Mind:
1) Therapy. Everyone should go to therapy! I have the most wonderful, Christian Gestalt therapist. She is a hard taskmaster but a great woman and she has been of tremendous help of late.

2) Morning Pages. I can't do mindfulness- I think too much! Seriously- it's not for lack of trying. Enter morning pages. 3 pages of A4, longhand, every morning by hand. Sounds crazy right! Well, in 4 months of practicing morning pages I've discovered that there is no bad day or gloom you wake up in that can't be at least processed, understood or somehow helped by 3 sides of writing. It clears my mind, centres my thinking, clears the way for my creativity and gets me ready for the day. I never would have dreamed I'd be able to find 30 mins (ish) per morning to do this- but now wouldn't be without it! Don't knock it til you've tried it.

3) Making. Ceramics, crochet, sewing, reupholstery, writing- you name it, I'm happier if I'm making it. Taking time to keep a scrapbook, record ideas and projects as they come to me, and leaving enough space in my schedule to go to ceramics once a week and get some making done at the weekend definitely keeps me balanced.

some of this course's ceramics

4)  Treacle. Yep-officially a mad cat lady! Just a little 'chat' and cuddle with this naughty one is enough to put a smile on my face.

Body:
1) Exercise. On a bad day, even just a walk will do! Ideally, running/swimming/lifting weights is something I really enjoy. A decent long run outside with my girlies can put the world to rights! Call it endorphins, but the world really is a better place once you've been for a good run!

2) Face care. I've used simple facewipes for years, but decided it was time to show my skin some love. I now have a lovely, organic, pampering face care routine from Liz Earle- it's like a little treat to myself each time I do my face morning and evening. I especially love their night time oil- smells divine!

3) Night time tea. This one in particular. A cupful whilst I do my devotionals is always a good start to a decent nights sleep

4) Socks. Silly I know, but a soft, cuddly pair of bedsocks is an utter winner for making me feel all cosy and relaxed! I've got quite the collection!

5) Vegetables. When I plan what  I eat, and make sure that most of each meal is veg, I feel way better in myself. Also, I'm one of those odd people who genuinely just loves vegetables! Any veg, any way- delicious.

Spirit:
Last but most definitely the most important! How can I go about resting and caring for my spirit?

1) Prioritising my devotional time. In previous attacks of depression and/or anxiety, this has been one of the very first things to go. This time round, that wasn't an option! I've moved my devo time to the evening (never been a great morning person!). I read the HTB bible in a year on the bible app, you can get it here. I like that the devotionals are a really good length and can point things out to me that I'd not notice for myself, especially on a down or stressed day.

2) Journalling. My evening journalling is also super-important 'Sarah and God' time to process everything that's happened that day. I always write down 3 things I'm thankful for, to try and keep some perspective on life! Reading back through my journal is a great way to see how far I've come and how much good is in my life, even if it doesn't always feel that way!

3) Words- particularly scripture but also poetry and great quotes. Words have always been my love language, so I've put key thoughts and verses in different places around the house to keep me positive and plugged in! I found a lot of these on pinterest.

Postcards and Words around the house

4) Worship: Playing piano,singing, listening to music are all a great way to calm my soul and focus on God and His goodness- whatever my day is like.

5) Community. My friends rock my world. Whether it's meeting weekly at 7am for a bible study and prayer time, or hanging out watching amazon prime or the Christmas 24 channel- my friends have lifted me up, cried with me and loved on me incredibly over the past few months. It's been a journey to get vulnerable enough with them to hang out even when I'm just napping in the corner, or feeling poop. I find my strength in my community and I wouldn't be without them. (Same goes for my wonderful family but they're further away for napping purposes)

6) Church- sounds simple, but it isn't! On a bad day I know well how tempting it is to hide in the house and not go anywhere. A massive part of caring for myself is forcing myself to get out and mingle with other people who love me, care for me and are praying for me. My church have been truly like family to me in the last few months- I LOVE them!

So there you have it- a little glimpse into how I look after myself and keep my mental health and well being a priority! None of the above are non-negotiable- of course I have days where I do few/none of them, but as principles for how I can better steward myself- as part of God's amazing creation- they are pretty good for the time being!